Dreams Turned to an Afterthought

Ten years ago I was in high school. TEN years ago, wow. I was a fifteen year old little dude trying to be cool and getting excited about girls, driving, friends and more importantly music. I was a freshman and had been thrust into a friendship with a guy named Chris Vest. Many of you probably know the name, he is the drummer for well-known band Framing Hanley. Our friendship started in gym class with the words “Dude, nice shoes,” as he referenced the ever-sweet flames on my shoes. Oh yes, I was one of those cool kids, haha.

After conversation Chris and I realized a common interest, music. I played guitar and he played drums so it only made sense to form a band. This had been a dream of mine since I was a little kid and I watched my dad play his guitar in our basement. My dad was in a band as a teenager and he taught me everything I know on the guitar, so I wanted to follow in his footsteps.

In 2001 Chris and I were probably trying to figure out our band name, trying to find members. Nevertheless, as the years went on Chris and I finally formed a stable band named Embers Fade. My dreams of being a rockstar were even bigger now, we were playing shows and were gaining some respect from the local Nashville scene. I couldn’t picture anywhere else I would want to be when I was putting on a show on that stage.

Each show my dreams wanted more, I wanted to tour the nation, I wanted to sign that record deal. I wanted it all. But, my realistic side of my brain kept me in college…and that ended up getting in the way of the band. Basically life got in my way, and I knew that I needed to part ways with the band, as much as it killed me. It was more of a mutual departure, save for Chris who actually threatened to leave if I did. I knew I couldn’t be the reason for him leaving and missing out on such an experience so I talked him out of that.

So that was it, I was no longer a musician. I was just a college student with a part time job. I felt lost. My dreams were broken as the band progressed.

The band, some other friends and I experienced a tragedy the year I left the band. Chris’ long time girlfriend/fiancé ended up dying in a car accident, everyone was devastated. However through all the grief came a band named after her, Framing Hanley, which was a supped-up version of Embers Fade.

Within months they got signed and started touring the nation. Chris and the band continues to rock stages all over the world. He continues to live his dream – and I am in total support of him and the band. I’m glad they get to experience that, I’m glad that my issues didn’t cause Chris to miss out on all of it. I love him, think of him like a brother and hope for their continued success.

Now what about me? Well I soon realized that my dreams weren’t broken or stolen. My dreams in high school slowly started to become an afterthought. I met Brittany while struggling in college and struggling to find myself. Her and her then 2 year old son, Micah, guided me into the right direction without her evening knowing it.

Brittany and I stayed together for a while, and soon I found another band to play with. This band felt more like a family affair, and I loved playing in it. Eventually Brittany and I got married which made me realize my new dream, while being a rockstar started to become more bland. I wanted a family, I wanted to be a dad to Micah, I wanted more children, I wanted to graduate college and I wanted to start my career to start supporting my family.

It is funny how quickly your childhood dreams can fade away when you start growing up and meet certain people. The question is are your adult dreams sweeter than what you yearned for as a child. I can say with no hesitation that mine is much sweeter.

I want to thank my beautiful wife, Brittany for finding me when I needed her to. It felt as if we were meant to find each other when we did. I want to thank Chris for helping me reach what I did with Embers Fade as a kid. I hope that he continues to do well and that all of his dreams are met. Because I know that my dreams have come true as I look around at my life and at my lovely family. I love you Brittany, Micah and Penny. You are my world, my everything.